Mend My Broken Heart

I've been struggeling with this break up for a long time now.
Proberly noticable.
Some days I'm doing just fine,
some days I break apart in the longing for her.
And I hate that she's no where in my life.

She tells me, "its been a few months now, Get a life!"
She makes it sound so easy,
but I'm not like her,
when my heart is still beating for her ever so strongly.

I'm not over her, and I proberly won't Be either.
I can't,like her, Go into the world and pretend that
my feelings for isn't there.
I don't lie to myself.

This Empty heart of mine is killing me,
and every thought I have is about her.
And she's proberly not even giving me a thought,
cos there's allready someone else in her life.

She left me as sudden as she came into my life,
and took my heart with her when she did.

And I never even got a proper goodbye.
Suddenly she was just gone.

And I was a fool to believe her words,
she came here,before christmas,
and Swore to me she wouldn't leave me.
I believed her and was ever so thankful she'd stay with me.

Then, X-mas eve came, the past time had felt like everything was fine,
she told me she loved me,and missed me.
I was so happy.

Untill I came home....
I sat down on my computer and checked my regular sites,
Logged on to Facebook,
my heart shattered into a million pieces,
as I saw that she had set herself as singel.

The tears ran down my face,
and i tried to call her, but she didnt answer me.
She had blocked me off from ever place we both were.
Suddenly, I was just thrown out of her life,
Like I was nothing but trash.

Clueless and lost,
I sat with all my questions.

Time went from then,
and the new year came,
Again she promised me, We've give it out january to see if we could repair our relationship.

And yet again, I was a fool to believe her,
I did everything to tell her much I loved her.
To prove how much she meant to me.
and she said she loved me again, and missed me.

What An Idiot I truly am.

Then one week, she told me she was going to see a friend,
I was happy for her.

But one day she said,she wouldn't be answering in a while,
which was fine, i kept writing her txt messeges to her phone so that
she'd know i was thinking bout it.

But in the back of my mind,something felt wrong.

And I was right...

I know it's wrong,so very wrong, but my stomach told me she was lying to me.
So i logged on to her Facebook.

And I saw,she was out with some other girl.
She had played me for a fool all along.

In anger and frustrasion,
I deleted everything on her page,
and logged on to her Aion Account and Deleted her characters,
Changed all her passwords.

The next day she called me,
crying over what I had done.
She made it sound as if i had commited murder.

Yet her consciounc of what she had done was apperently clean,
going behind my back and messing with some other girl.
She even told her she loved her that first night.

I must have meant nothing.

Even after all this, I yet love her,
i should be hateful and bitter.

but I can't I can not be like that towards her.
I'm not justifying what I did.
Cos I know it was wrong,
but It wasn't nice of her to make me believe that she still loved me
and wanted to patch things up.

Yet now,she tells me she thinks bout me.
on the phone she said, she felt the same way I do.
But I can not trust those words.
Cos she tells her friends one thing,
and tell me others.

Yet now I havent gotten a proper goodbye.
and she can't even give it to me.

She said shed come pick up her stuff,
but I think she's too afraid,
too afraid to look at me and feel those feelings inside.

I'm sorry it went like this Sepp,
but you don't want it any other way.
You will never find anyone like me again.
Only comfort I have in my heart is,
that you will always remember me.
And i will always remember you cos you were my one true love.
And I'd give the world to be right back in your Arms.

I love you Sepphire

I hope you think bout me too sometimes,
and remember the good and wonderful moments we had togher