When I get rich...

I got a wicked taste for stuff,
I'm waiting on money so I can order myself some stuff online.
Some of the stuff I want:

Manic Panic Hair Dye,
Since I will need to maintain my hair color.
I love Manic Panic,
Such a great hair product.
(image from manic panics homepage)

Dreadlocks,
My bestfriend agreed to style up my hair,
That sweetheart.
so i might get some of these in red and black to mix into my hair.
(Image from naughtyshadows.no)

Omg Don't get me started on this hat,
I've been drooling over it FOREVER now.
it just looks so bloody awsome

.This top is so cute,
I seriously want it.
Though its a risk ordering stuff online,
Atleast clothing.
Well I really want both of em.
I'll see how much they are when i get my cash.
(Images of hat and shirt from www.x-tra-x.de)

Last but not least,
I want snakebites.
God how long ive wanted some.
I'd want a tattoo too but,
we'll see how much cash I got when the time comes.


  ~LV~

Seriously? You got a Death Wish?

Today started with a Bang....litterally.
I woke up to the knocking on the inner door in my apartment.
I Was shocked,
The fucked up landlord had locked himself into my apartment.
After a while i got up,
Pulled up the door to the hall,
And looked at the bastard standing in my entrance door.
I glared at him and was really ticked off.

I started yelling at him,
Cos he was complaining bout the hall looking bad,
For fuck's sake,
I'm moving out!
I flipped off,
Been a while since I've been so angry.

I seriously SNAPPED!
he's not allowed to do that.

I seriously could have slapped him,
Standing there, that bald old pig.

MEH!

Anyhow...

Got an Email from Sepphire earlier today,

She wrote she might have time to pick up her belongings at the beginning of
July.
Bout Freaking time if you ask me.
She better not send someone,
Cos last time she didn't let me know and i freaked out.

Well, I freaked out cos I Didn't know who it was.

Anyhow,
Gonna be good to get rid of it.

Though it strikes me that it will be weird to see her since I haven't spoken With/Seen
Her since march.

Hah that dreeded week in Stavanger.
Gonna be good to get rid of it atleast.

I Seriously saw how much clothing she had left behind.
No wonder, she practically lived here.
 

Today, I don't really have any plans.
Gonna relax and just enjoy my day I think.
The weather ain't too nice, and I'm broke at the moment so that doesn't help much.

I've had a long talk with my friend though,
Bout our situation in life.

No wonder one gets bitter.
Seeing how everyone actually have a life,
Family,a house, kids, etc.
And what do I have?
No job, No partner,No house,
No nothing really.
You really do end up a bit bitter.
Being Gay doesn't really help the situation.
The worst part is,
I could have been married by now.
If things hadn't gotten messed up with Sepphire,
I could have been married last fall.

I mean, I'm not actually getting any younger,
Closing in on 30.
I want my life to go somewhere,
I want a person to share my life with.
Who will love me for who I am and not who
They want me to be.

I am me, Take me for who I am,
I won't change for anyone,
Love me as I am or Forget bout it.
If I change, I stop being me.

I guess I do miss the realtionship I used to have sometimes,
Though I don't mind being alone.
Just missing someone I can show my affection to,
Someone I can call in the middle of the night,
That's just happy to hear my voice.
Someone I can shower with my love.

I don't know if anyone can love me like that again.
I tried to love, and look how that went.

But everyone keeps telling me,
That it was good that I opened my eyes to the situation
Before it got too serious.
Yea and their right.
It would have been worse to actually get into it too deep,
And then realising that,
This ain't the girl I'm supposed to be with.
Better to be alone than to feel unloved and unwanted.

Well im restless, time to do something.

~LV~

Baby When You're gone

Been another long and hectic day,
I haven't slept but thats ok.

Rather get things here done.

All my pretty females are now off the wall,
it looks so empty and cold.
Really looking forwards to moving now.

 Gonna be nice living with someone again.

My mom and my brother's girlfriend came to help out with the
Packing and washing, etc.
Gotten allot of stuff done really,
I Miss the sexy bodies on my wall.
I'll see them again soon I hope.

Saw my older brother today,
ofcourse the current status as singel were brough up.

Told him as it was,
that I wasn't gonna put up with shit again.
But he comforted me with the
Fact of, Beer, summer and girls.

Though the same subject were brought up later
today, by my mom.

She asked me bout what the girl I had dated,
had said when I broke up.
Told her it wasn't really much to tell on the subject.

My mom continued,
With that, Sepphire's footsteps would be hard to follow for anyone.
And Kate Agreed from the back seat,
and how sad it was that things had turned the way it did.

I don't know why recently,
Things concerning her has been appearing around me.
People suddenly bringing her up, etc.

I half heartedly answered them that,
I didn't think I'd fall so head over heels for anyone.
I Donno, there was something completly special,
in the way she made me feel.

Missunderstand me right,
I Did fall in love with the girl I dated,

Won't write her name here out of respect for her.
But, I couldn't fall as head over heels as I would like to.
Plus all the problems from day one.
Not a good way to start off a relationship.

I'm not blaming anyone.

Guess we were just on different paths of life,
That didn't really match up.

So much for my life starting then.

No there were just to many complications.

Atleast she got something out of it....

.....A Free Tablet....


Oh well...

~LV~

My life in a box

I'm so sick of cleaning and packing down
all my belongings. feels like theres no end to it.

Blah.

It was weird,
I packed down the clothes of my x,
she never picked em up,
It was strange really,

on top of it all, alonge with the clothes,

layed a picture of us together.

Thoughts shifted through my head,
I should really get rid of those things.

I mean its been what now, 6 months?

I cant afford to send her all her shit though,
I mailed her and she said she would think bout it.
But yea she wont pick em up.

sick of having a constant reminder of what she did to me.
Sick of being reminded of the relationship we had.
Though,
It was a nice relationship,
Warm and loving.
She was ever so devoting to me,

as i were to her.

I want a relationship like that again.
a relationship where I feel complete and alive.

Some things stay in your mind forever, I suppose.

Anyway....

I got lots to do,

my mom is coming tomorrow to help me O_O

I can use the help, its too much to do on your own.

Im doing good so far though.

Time to finish.

Blogging again later

~LV~

God damn AHHHHHHHH!

Cleaning day today,
the speakers throwing out the sweet music that soots my soul.
Nothing better than blasting the music out loud
when cleaning is on your list.

Currently listening to Poets of the fall,
though i proberly shouldnt,
but i dont really care tbh.

Too much to do in so lill time,
I'm gonna be happy once this is over.
It's at times like this you realise
How much junk you got stored.

At the moment I'm cleaning the stove.
OMG how boring,
where's a sexy little maid when I need her.
actually makes me think of someone from a time
Long since passed.

 

It's gonna be nice to leave this place behind,
Got too many memories in this place.
Now I can finally leave them all behind.

So I'm hoping I Will be able to be out of this place,
Sometime this week.

Too many problems and junk concerning the guy that owns
The freaking house.

Gonna be nice to move in with my bro and his gf =D

 

This is gonna be a great summer,
I have a good feeling bout it.

Parties,Girls in barly any clothes,beer and sunshine.

Hell, I'm gonna make this the best summer ever,
I'm free,
No one to commite myself to.
And it's a pleasant thought really.

I Can't even imagen how this summer
Would have been if  I had stayed in that messed up relationship.
Not so pleasant I'm sure.
Nice to know afterwards,
That everyone around the one you dated,
Couldn't stand your face.

Am I really supposed to care?
Not really.

I Know for a fact atleast,
No more women for a loooong loong time.
I'd rather stay singel than to be with someone
who barly could show their emotions towards me.

You were right, M,
You didn't deserve me.

I better stop blogging now,
I have lots to do,
And shorter time to get there.

Btw my mom made the best comment on my break-up today.
Hah I love my mom.

~LV~

Another Nail in the coffin

So it ended,
im not really sad to be honest.

I don't really bother wasting my time on a realtionship
Thats going no where.

I don't need a Girlfriend who can't even stand up

for me when I need her.

I deserve so much better than that crap.

 to be honest.

I should have understood it was pointless when

over and over shit came up.

Feel like i've been through hell and back.

I deserve to feel special,
I deserve to feel that i am everything.

The whole situation just makes me pissed off.
rubbing in my face she's been hearing shitty rumors bout me,

that she cant even back up.

and almost all fucking day ive been getting shit from her friend.
and she claims i dont act like an adult.

Pft wonder who the adult is who cant even talk.

Ok so i told her not to talk to me,

but i got pissed off as hell when her friend came bashing on me.

fuck that.
What the fuck is the point of involving others in something that doesnt concern them?

Fuck that,
I don't need to be with someone that never makes me feel pretty.
I don't need to be put up with bout being placed in the back of the line all the time.

I don't need a fucking girlfriend that makes a scene.

her loose not mine.

I need someone that truly loves me.

i took a huge risk going into a relationship with her.

vunerable, and she knew it.

nah, I'll find that person some day,

that will worship me,

just like i do when i fall deeply in love.

Tomorrow is another day,
and I look at it with a smile on my face.

I'll find her some day