Seriously? You got a Death Wish?

Today started with a Bang....litterally.
I woke up to the knocking on the inner door in my apartment.
I Was shocked,
The fucked up landlord had locked himself into my apartment.
After a while i got up,
Pulled up the door to the hall,
And looked at the bastard standing in my entrance door.
I glared at him and was really ticked off.

I started yelling at him,
Cos he was complaining bout the hall looking bad,
For fuck's sake,
I'm moving out!
I flipped off,
Been a while since I've been so angry.

I seriously SNAPPED!
he's not allowed to do that.

I seriously could have slapped him,
Standing there, that bald old pig.

MEH!

Anyhow...

Got an Email from Sepphire earlier today,

She wrote she might have time to pick up her belongings at the beginning of
July.
Bout Freaking time if you ask me.
She better not send someone,
Cos last time she didn't let me know and i freaked out.

Well, I freaked out cos I Didn't know who it was.

Anyhow,
Gonna be good to get rid of it.

Though it strikes me that it will be weird to see her since I haven't spoken With/Seen
Her since march.

Hah that dreeded week in Stavanger.
Gonna be good to get rid of it atleast.

I Seriously saw how much clothing she had left behind.
No wonder, she practically lived here.
 

Today, I don't really have any plans.
Gonna relax and just enjoy my day I think.
The weather ain't too nice, and I'm broke at the moment so that doesn't help much.

I've had a long talk with my friend though,
Bout our situation in life.

No wonder one gets bitter.
Seeing how everyone actually have a life,
Family,a house, kids, etc.
And what do I have?
No job, No partner,No house,
No nothing really.
You really do end up a bit bitter.
Being Gay doesn't really help the situation.
The worst part is,
I could have been married by now.
If things hadn't gotten messed up with Sepphire,
I could have been married last fall.

I mean, I'm not actually getting any younger,
Closing in on 30.
I want my life to go somewhere,
I want a person to share my life with.
Who will love me for who I am and not who
They want me to be.

I am me, Take me for who I am,
I won't change for anyone,
Love me as I am or Forget bout it.
If I change, I stop being me.

I guess I do miss the realtionship I used to have sometimes,
Though I don't mind being alone.
Just missing someone I can show my affection to,
Someone I can call in the middle of the night,
That's just happy to hear my voice.
Someone I can shower with my love.

I don't know if anyone can love me like that again.
I tried to love, and look how that went.

But everyone keeps telling me,
That it was good that I opened my eyes to the situation
Before it got too serious.
Yea and their right.
It would have been worse to actually get into it too deep,
And then realising that,
This ain't the girl I'm supposed to be with.
Better to be alone than to feel unloved and unwanted.

Well im restless, time to do something.

~LV~