My 2 Fucking Cents

Ok Ok
For Those that DOESN'T Know,
I'm a lesbian but hey i'm sure thats been noticable through out
My blog so far.

Anyhow

There's something bout the whole deal that really really
Bugs me must of the time.

Actually the whole community bugs the hell outta me.

Oh god Don't even get me started
on the lesbian community,

i've been gay for what, 10 years now.
And In that time,I've discovered allot
about this so called community and how the system works.

I can't really compair myself to allot of the lesbians in the community.

Like, They get a girlfriend, they stay together for,hm a few
months like the typical lesbian relationship actually is.

They break up and a few days later,
oh look at that, a new girlfriend.

WHY?

Are lesbians so fucking afraid of being alone?
It's like their relationships overlap each other.

Why oh why do I ask?

I do understand that we're a fewer % Than the hetrosexuals,
but oh my god is it even possible.

Just take my X forexample,
We were together for almost two years,
she recently dumped me,
And ofcourse,
not long after,
HEY got a new girlfriend.

First of all i dont understand it at all,
if you truly love someone,
that deeply as she claimed,

You don't run off with the first girl that comes your way.
Dear lord now she's almost had more girlfriends
than I have had in 10 years.

It actually makes me Question the love of lesbians,
how real it really is.

Arn't we meant for steady and long relationships?

Ofcourse I'm not judging everone at once,
but thats like 98% of all the lesbian I know.

Just look at the community where I live,
Most people have been a couple.
What?

Ain't this country BIG enough that you don't
have to date your x's x?
or so?

I must honestly say, I personally, Got more Shame
Than Pride of Being Gay.

When I love,
I love with all my heart,
and if it ends,
I never throw myself right back out there.

I got more Pride in myself than so

In the Light of the moon

I fell to my knees in the rain,
my voice barly calling out your name
But you were allready gone.

I looked at my folded hands on the ground beneath me,
my ring shimmering in the light from
the velvet moon.

That ring, the symbol of our love together,
the symbol of our plans together.

My eyes filles with tears,
as I realise,
that my heart just left,somewhere in the night.

I push myself from the ground,
and look at the sky,
the moon shining down at me in the darkness,
as the tears and rain roll down my face.

I try to whisper your name,
but my voice has dissapeared inside me.

I cry,
cos of the pain you left in my heart.
I cry,
Cos of the love I hold for you.
I cry,
Cos i wont ever see you again.
I cry,
Cos i lost the love of my life

I think i feel the same way Paulie

"She's the only person who ever loved me, you know?

I think I'll die without her."

Paulie couldn't say it any better,
When a heart goes into pain,
How can you expect go to on livin'
when everything is so dark?

Destruction

I could destroy you if I really wanted to,
And actually you'd deserve it.
You play with Someone's heart,
and expect it to be ok.

But it's not,
Thats truly rotten,
I got a heart, i go feelings,
and you think you can just step right over me.

You're a cowards,
Thinking that dragging yourself into something with someone else,
will make the feelings go away.

You've told me,
A few times, that the feelings for me was still as
strong as when we were together.

Is that all you are?
A liar?
I trusted you and believed in you,
cos i've never had a reason not to
Before.

But now, now I barly believe a word you say,
You lie and lie, and even more lies.

And you think it's a nice think to involve someone else,
when you still have feelings for me?
That's dishonest and you wont be happy
with the things you do untill your true to your feelings.

I wish i was so evil,
that I would fuck up the rest of your life,
the way you have fucked up mine.

You can't even come to meet me,
so we could have a closure to this.

What are you afraid of?
Those feelings in your heart?
Afraid that you really still do love me?

You think that the love will go away just like that?
You think that someone else can make those feelings disappear?

You hide behind your mask,
afraid of the world, afraid of the love.

What the fuck does a lill 18 year old have to offer you,
that I don't?
You really think she wants a house,and a family and all that you wish for?
You think she can love you as highly as I do?
And make you feel as I did?

I think you're lying to yourself,
I think you're too afraid to love me.
Afraid of what others will think of you if you gave me a chance.

I've been on my knees for you,
for so long.
I've promised you the world,
And i'd sacrefice everything,
Just for you.

But that's not enough for you.

You'd rather take your chance on someone that has not much to offer but maybe a crush
for you.

I could take care of you, love you,cherish you.
Give you the life that you wanted.

But you don't want it,
no matter how you feel in your heart.

You could come, and let us talk,and end this,
once and for all.

But you're a coward, and always will be a coward

Your Love

I need to rest,
cos the love for you is making me sick u_u

sukk, dagene går i kaos

Hvor lenge skal hjertet være i sorg?
Hvor lenge skal hjertet lengte
etter hun som engang elsket meg?

Hvor lenge skal sjelen skrike
etter bare et øyeblikk,
der hun var nær meg.

Jeg Vil ikke føle disse følesene i
hjerte lengre.

Noen Dager, angrer jeg så på den dagen
jeg lot meg forelske meg i henne.

Men da ville jeg aldri følt hva ekte
Kjærlighet er for noe.

Aldri vil jeg føle slik igjen for noen,
desverre.

Hun stjal hjertet mitt fra den dagen
jeg traff henne.

Hun gjorde meg så lykkelig,
Når hun var nær meg,
kunne verden gå under og jeg ville ikke brydd meg.

Nå får jeg aldri følt slik igjen,
jeg får ikke engang se henne,
jeg får ikke hørt stemmen hennes.

Hun er så godt som forsvunnet ut av livet mitt.

Om det var en måte,å gå tilbake, til den
tiden vi var lykkelige,
og alt dette kunne vært unngått,
skulle jeg ha gjort det uten å blunke.

Hun var alt jeg noengang ville ha,
alt jeg drømte om.

Men nå er hun vekk,
og hun tok med seg hjertet mitt da hun forsvant.
og livet er tomt, og trist.

Jeg ville gi henne alt,
men det var ikke nok....

Jeg elsker deg, julianne...
Jeg savner deg noe voldsomt...

She Broke My Heart

Jeg Trodde på hennes ord,
Jeg Trodde det alt var sant.

I hjertet mitt stolte jeg på henne,
at hun sa hun ikke engang kunne tenke seg noen andre.
Helt til det kom som et slag i ansiktet mitt fra noen andre.

Hvorfor måtte hun da lyve?
hvorfor sa hun alle dem tingene som gjorde hjertet mitt glad,
bare for å knuse meg totalt til slutten?

Og dem kaller meg en løgner,
at alt jeg sier er bare ting jeg finner opp.

Jeg er vel den eneste akkurat nå som er 100% ærlig.

Det Får en til å undre seg om hva som noengang var sant,
man setter spørsmålstegn med alle ord noengang sagt.

Alt fra Januar har bare vært løgner,
"Vi gir det januar, vi skal nok reparere det"

Alle dem Gangene hun sa hun elsket meg i januar,
løgn.
Dem gangene hun sa hun savnet meg,
Løgn.

og det forsetter og forsetter.
og jeg er like dum å tror på henne.

Hun sa det ville bli fint å se meg,
var sikkert ikke det hun tenkte.
Hun tenkte nok,endelig, er alt ferdig.

Nei det kom noen andre,
da var ikke vår kjærlighet viktig lengre.
enda alt hun har sagt.

All Dritten må jeg hører fra venna hennes,
Hun forteller meg noe, dem sier ting og knuser meg innvendig.
Antar det finnes mennesker som finner lykke
i andre menneskers sorg

Jeg må slå ordene fra meg

Hun er bare en løgner nå,
som leker med folks føleser,

men jeg er ingen leke,
jeg har et hjerte og sterke føleser for deg.
Men du tråkker på dem,
Du gir faen,
og det har folk bekreftet til meg.

Så glem kjærligheten,
den var aldri ekte nok for deg


Jeg vil ikke gråte mere tårer for deg,
du er ikke verdt mine tårer,
og heller ikke mitt hjerte
når alt du kunne var å gi opp.

Inside, I am Dying, More and More For each day.
My Love meant nothing to you =(