Lines across

All It took to make my day feel awsome, was a few lines in my inbox

Cleaning The Soul

Today has been a cleaning and whatever day.
my apartment looks so nice.

 

 Love it so much, candle light all around shinnning so nicely.

In the Middle Of The Storm

I meet my favoritt person today, My sweet bestfriend.
I awoke startled by my cellphone, screaming at me the lyrics from Trollhammaren.

Still in a bit of a sleephaze, I looked at my phone and saw it was my bestfriend.
she had just finished her meeting downtown.

I jumped in the shower, fixed myself up, in the best way i could cos my hair is stupid since its grown so long recently, and threw my self out the door.

On the way back to her place we picked up some chinese food nomnomnom i love chinese.
but to our surprise most of the sauce had leaked out into the bag, seriously sauce in a bag hah.

Rest of the day we mostly talked bout this and that. i've really missed that.
We talked bout all the silliness and crazy stuff we have done through the 10 years that we've known each other.
So much laughter in one evening.

It was an awsome day/night.

I came home not so long ago, around 4ish, too much of a storm to walk home so i jumped in a cab.

Thanks for an awsome day sweetie, love you lots 

I Have A Gift For You

I have a gift for you.
A single black rose
To show you my black love.
 
A single rose,
As tainted as my soul,
And a single dark feather,
A token of my desire.
 
Do not scorn me,
My dearest,
Come close.
 
Prick thy finger
And give a drop of blood,
Sustenance for an angel
Condemned to walk the Long Road.
 
A black rose-
A token of my forbidden love for you
And the symbol of my damnation,
And my fall from Grace...

(Image by Ketmara)

Val through the Ages

just for shits and giggles click it to see the big picture X3

In my Favorit paradise

I spent the weekend at our cabin, i love being there. so nice.

 It's so wonderful, the clear water, the  sound of the birds in the trees. I don't think there's a place that I feel so at peace like I do there.

Even though i almost ended up in a fight with my aunt at several ocations.

I got a few fish but thats not what its all bout tbh. just getting away for a bit and just, relax.

Im still redheaded and im still a freak.

but I hope the chicks will dig me none the less*whink*

~LV~

Qoute of the day

"If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy"

Stuck In A Loop Hole

Im stuck in this repeating loop, no sleep no sleep and if i do sleep its not until morning.
What the hell is wrong with me??


I Need to sleep...it feels like its tearing my brain inside out....

Those words are haunting my mind....

I am Me, and who dares to bother can give a shit

I'm sitting here thinking bout what I told myself 7 months ago, the beginning of this year.
I Promised myself this would be the best year of my life.
But to be honest, it has been nothing but disappointments after disapointments really.

I try to give a 120% in everything I Do,
Just shit appearing in the middle sometimes that makes it a bit worse to reach ones goals.

I'm Happy in the ways I can be happy, though I do feel like something is missing in my life.
I Don't mind being on my own, I Got good friends to rely on. Friends I know will always back me up no matter what happens in this life.
But Friends are not lovers or girlfriends.
A friend can not crawl up to you in the middle of the night and whisper ever so softly that they love you.

I Long for love and passion, Someone that makes my soul shine.

Sometimes I do think i've lost that chance of true happiness.

Yet again, I Don't want to risk myself anymore, we all know how that went when I Allowed myself to open up to someone.
Maybe It was too soon, maybe she wasnt right.
Could be allot of things.

For now I am enjoying the singel life. New apartment.
Feels like the start of a whole new life doesnt it?

Live, as every day was the last, we don't know what tomorrow brings.
And let the ones you love, know, cos it might be too late

Most swiftly sweet rain

It's raining today, feels nice for a change. Everything has been so hot recently.
Atm I'm waiting for my mom to come pick me up, my brother is gonna stay with me for a few days...hurray....no not really....
but oh well.

Getting the TV as well though all my DvD's are still at my other brothers place u_u who knows when ill get those back.

I hate to wait......

Anyhow today is gonna be a busy Aion day, grind grind grind for the gold gear.
A close friend told me last night i needed a 12 step program...i might actually.

Anyhow i'll be back later X3

~LV~

AWMAHGAWD!

Yea well So I Did it, finally reach top cap and the chill can now start.
First thing that came to mind was, shit....what am I gonna do now until 2.0?
I got enough to do tbh. but meh i dont want to u___u

Anyhow, today I'm placing the last things in their spots, omg cos my bro is coming tomorrow and i know how my mom is. she would freak.
I hate moving...and I hate cleaning....And I hate having to go outside for a smoke u__u saaad puppy


~LV~

Insane In The Brain

I don't really care if you read this or not,I seriously couldn't care less. I know you read my blog, why really doesnt make sense but meh.

Really want to go into which person has issues? Yes please lets.
I can be a big enough person and say, Yea I do have some issues.

But If I were you, I wouldn't talk too fucking much bout it.

I got my personal Issues, I don't say I'm perfect. I have my flaws like every fucking other person on this planet.
And who the hell are you to even OPEN your mouth about such things?

Oh yea so you've experienced shit, well does that give you every right to stand and scream at people cos you cant talk normal? That you think screaming will make you get your point across?

Shit...

Yea I might have Issues and problems, but ya know what, It's girls like you that has fucking made me this way.

I can say that I'm fucked up.
Can you?

Every fucking person on this planet has issues in one way or the other.
Lesbians more than others. Being one you should fucking know.

If I were you, I'd get my act straight, think bout wtf your doing in your life.
Maybe the problem isnt with everyone else.

Yea I'm fucked up, but atleast I won't end up alone with the only thing to rely on in this world is my friend.

My heart is warm and yours is cold.

Dry your eyes mate

My Beating Heart

So I met her today, didn't really think I'd react like I Did.

From the moment she pulled up in her car, It felt like a shovel Hit me in the face.
I haven't seen or talked to Sepphire since march.

I'm kinda speechless at the moment so to say, I didn't think I'd react to seeing her at all.

But there she stood, the person who were once my brown eyed gothic princess.

My heart dropped,so much stirred up inside me.

Sepphire....

How can she hold so much power over me still after all this time?

We talked for a bit, bout this and that. she had her friend with her. not that i did mind.
It wasn't her i was looking at anyway.

She collected her things and I walked em to her car.

How could I ever let that slip away from me?

We talked for a bit more by the car before it was time for them to go. I know where shes going, but I didnt really care at the time.

As we said our goodbyes, I walked away,hearing the voice of her friend, "Whats the matter? Are you sad?"
Had our meeting effected her in a way to?

I don't know thats just the words i heard as I walked away.

I'm left with an empty and strange feeling inside me.

Sepphire...who could ever take your place?

You've brought forth allot of memories and feelings in me today.

Feelings I thought was long passed gone. There will always be a part of me that will love you and cheerish you to the day I die.

In my heart you will always be my girl.

Thank you for showing me what love truly is all bout.
Thank you for the years we spent together.
I'm grateful.
Atleast now I do know, how it feels to love and be loved back.

Thanks for Everything

Spread Your Wings And Fly

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
today is the day.
Meh i woke up at 9 this morning.
Started off with txting with sepp, she sure has some guts asking for this and that.
She actually doesnt deserve anything since shes the one that left imo.
But we'll talk bout it tomorrow, im meeting here around 12:30 ish.
Hurray....
Oh screw her.

Now im gonna pack my computer and head down to my apartment.

I'll be back once everything is fixed.

~LV~

How many times will I start my life over again?

Tomorrow will be the first night in my new apartment, really really looking forwards to actually being alone for a while. 
my mom keeps nagging me day out and day in. seriously fucked up in my honest opinion.
Tomorrow we will put everything in its place, and when im done, im gonna lean back, put on my headphone and enjoy every second of it.
atleast I succed in one area of life. i'm always lucky when it comes to apartments and junk, love on the other hand, not so much hah, but im in no rush. now i will enjoy life to its fullest.

And Im terribly in love with this summer. Love love love.
it's wonderful,i'm feeling as if im becoming my old self again.

Life is good

~LV~

Rofl Lmao?

I'm not normally the person to post horrible pictures of myself on the interwebz hah,

but to my huge amusment, my brother sent me a few pictures from my mom's computer.

And I can only say, I had a good laugh tbh.

they were all so bad. and i look horrible, but thats mostly cos i'm asleep im sure hah.

but it amused me hah. i don't care if sepphire's in the picture XD cos that just adds up to how stupid it looks!
Worst picture Ever! ROFL!

first and last time i'm posting a bad picture of me hah.

Other than that...I Got Ze apartment happy happy joy joy 

~LV~

Slapped in the back by an ancient memory

I woke up earlier today, proberly around 9 i think it was, by my cat thinking apperently i could be used as a bouncing ball.couldnt sleep anymore up there, too hot and too much going on tbh.
So I went downstairs,curled up on the couch while I watched some biblic stuff on national geographics.

I woke up not long ago, checked my cellphone, to my surprise the display blinked a familiar name, "Sepphire"
Think my heart paused there for a second.
Why I think why is she popping up all over the place recently?
The weirdest thing is that, I Was dreaming bout it just before I woke up, that she had written me a txt message to my phone, writing that she missed me.
This is fucking weird in my opinion. is something trying to tell me something?
I donno, atm I'm too tired to wrap my head around it.
Proberly putting too much into it tbh.
I hope that I get the apartment today, i dont really wanna run around all over and grab stuff for her.

So now i'm gonna go upstairs, wake up my brother and find something to do.
I'll be back later today to blog how it goes with the apartment.
My head is in too much thoughts atm.

~LV~

For Real? Could You Spend Anymore Money?

I suddenly realised i had 13k on my bankaccount, where the hell that cash came from, i have no idea.
but I ended up using 2k of em on clothing and other accecories.

I know my mom will totally freak, but I don't actually buy myself so much tbh.
I really don't have much to blog about today.

I did have a really really weird dream though  but I don't really wanna go into details concerning it.
I'll proberly blog again a bit later

~LV~

My Own Inferno

Ah Yea so i've been a busy weekend to be honest.
Cleaning ,partying, BBQ'ing yea you name it.
I'm gonna post some pics, proberly with be mostly me but hey thats how it goes.

Anyhow,
I got a hold of Sepphire, shes coming on the 2.july.
Yea thats going to get intresting. Havent heard anything from that chick in ages.
She told me we could remain friends,works for me but still weird I suppose,
I know how she feels bout X's lol.
So i guess i'll gather together her stuff, shes not getting the tv,xbox, or any of those things. we both payed for those after all and she was the one that left.
She can have her clothing and the computer that doesnt work.
Might sound a bit bitchy but yea well thats how it goes.

Anyhow,
Last night i spent with my bestfriend.
BBQ and beer in the sun, it was truly wonderful.
I  really do feel that life is good these days.
Just nice chilling, relaxing and just look at life you know.
We're good at that.
Flaming almost up her whole yard. hah.

I spent the night there cos suddenly it was 3 at night and  I didn't really wanna go home on my own.
So this morning i woke up, meet my mom, went to the apartment, washed and cleaned some more.
Cursed at my stupid landlord hah yea cos he's an idiot.
And now i'm back at my mom's, today i think i will just chill and play some aion.
I did have a little nap but I woke up by the cat jumping on me.
Silly cat.

So anyhow here's the pictures I promised

My mom's red cat suddenly getting playful heh

Mommy's cute little boy

Tipsy in the sun, ahh I love the summer

Looks like i have a mohawk but i don't lol

More of my awsome hair hah

Pretty Flower in my bestfriend's yard.

anomnomnom Amstel, such an awsome beer. expensive though.

Holy shit its on fire!!

MMMMMMM! look at all that nice meat. I'd never....EVER Go vegan.

I Adore my hair so much ahhhh even if i do look like a huge ass dyke haha

TOMATOS! and cucumber. i kinda forgot the name hah

Last one I stole of my bestfriends blog, but i know she doesnt mind,love love love.

~LV~