Slapped in the back by an ancient memory

I woke up earlier today, proberly around 9 i think it was, by my cat thinking apperently i could be used as a bouncing ball.couldnt sleep anymore up there, too hot and too much going on tbh.
So I went downstairs,curled up on the couch while I watched some biblic stuff on national geographics.

I woke up not long ago, checked my cellphone, to my surprise the display blinked a familiar name, "Sepphire"
Think my heart paused there for a second.
Why I think why is she popping up all over the place recently?
The weirdest thing is that, I Was dreaming bout it just before I woke up, that she had written me a txt message to my phone, writing that she missed me.
This is fucking weird in my opinion. is something trying to tell me something?
I donno, atm I'm too tired to wrap my head around it.
Proberly putting too much into it tbh.
I hope that I get the apartment today, i dont really wanna run around all over and grab stuff for her.

So now i'm gonna go upstairs, wake up my brother and find something to do.
I'll be back later today to blog how it goes with the apartment.
My head is in too much thoughts atm.

~LV~

For Real? Could You Spend Anymore Money?

I suddenly realised i had 13k on my bankaccount, where the hell that cash came from, i have no idea.
but I ended up using 2k of em on clothing and other accecories.

I know my mom will totally freak, but I don't actually buy myself so much tbh.
I really don't have much to blog about today.

I did have a really really weird dream though  but I don't really wanna go into details concerning it.
I'll proberly blog again a bit later

~LV~

My Own Inferno

Ah Yea so i've been a busy weekend to be honest.
Cleaning ,partying, BBQ'ing yea you name it.
I'm gonna post some pics, proberly with be mostly me but hey thats how it goes.

Anyhow,
I got a hold of Sepphire, shes coming on the 2.july.
Yea thats going to get intresting. Havent heard anything from that chick in ages.
She told me we could remain friends,works for me but still weird I suppose,
I know how she feels bout X's lol.
So i guess i'll gather together her stuff, shes not getting the tv,xbox, or any of those things. we both payed for those after all and she was the one that left.
She can have her clothing and the computer that doesnt work.
Might sound a bit bitchy but yea well thats how it goes.

Anyhow,
Last night i spent with my bestfriend.
BBQ and beer in the sun, it was truly wonderful.
I  really do feel that life is good these days.
Just nice chilling, relaxing and just look at life you know.
We're good at that.
Flaming almost up her whole yard. hah.

I spent the night there cos suddenly it was 3 at night and  I didn't really wanna go home on my own.
So this morning i woke up, meet my mom, went to the apartment, washed and cleaned some more.
Cursed at my stupid landlord hah yea cos he's an idiot.
And now i'm back at my mom's, today i think i will just chill and play some aion.
I did have a little nap but I woke up by the cat jumping on me.
Silly cat.

So anyhow here's the pictures I promised

My mom's red cat suddenly getting playful heh

Mommy's cute little boy

Tipsy in the sun, ahh I love the summer

Looks like i have a mohawk but i don't lol

More of my awsome hair hah

Pretty Flower in my bestfriend's yard.

anomnomnom Amstel, such an awsome beer. expensive though.

Holy shit its on fire!!

MMMMMMM! look at all that nice meat. I'd never....EVER Go vegan.

I Adore my hair so much ahhhh even if i do look like a huge ass dyke haha

TOMATOS! and cucumber. i kinda forgot the name hah

Last one I stole of my bestfriends blog, but i know she doesnt mind,love love love.

~LV~

What Used To Be My Home

It's kinda offical now, my apartment is so to say no longer mine.
I just have a few more things to do before I'm completly moved out.
Just have to wash the walls,cupboards and the ceiling, not in the line ofcourse.

I donno if I'm moving in with my bro or not now, my mom and stepdad found me an apartment not far from here.
I donno I'm gonna look at it this following week I hope, and we'll see.

So until then, I'm staying with my mom, Which I hate mind you.
Suddenly I don't have the freedom I'm used to have.
Suddenly allot of people to relate to.
I havent had people so close since Sepphire lived with me.

And yet again, ya know she's there to stir things up in my head.

The room in which I'm staying, brings back allot.
We spent our first night's there together as a couple.
Even if the room didn't have a door,
It didn't really matter.
Too Deep in love for anything else to matter.

In this house, was the place I first propose to her, to be my wife.
I remember that night, Even if we had a few that night,
The words were still true.
I did think she'd be my wife one day.

Then I got the apartment...
Sepphire came to visit that day that I was moving in.
She stayed behind,helping my mom hang up the curtains, put clothing into the shelves, etc.
She was so proud of herself, wanting to show me what she had done.
I couldn't help myself but smile, such small things we take for granted,
Was such a big deal to her.
We were finally alone that evening, for a first time since my birthday in February.
That apartment holds allot of memories of the life we shared together. the joy and the laughter.

She also propose to me in that apartment, for my birthday the year after.
I remember crying, i was so happy.
All my dreams seemed to come true.

I remember so many times, waiting for her to come, cooking in the kitchen, waiting for her car to pull into the drive way with metal blasting out of the speakers, unlocking the door into the apartment, and embracing me ever so tightly.

I will remember that place, with lots of fond good memories.
That perfect love will live forever in my mind and heart.

Restless

Ive fucked up my sleeping pattern again,
wtf is keeping me awake?

It's my head,
I know it.
The thoughts won't go away,
Rushing through my head like demons
Hunting me in the night.

I miss being able to have someone to sleep next to,
A warm soft body against me,
Feeling their warm breath heaving softly at me.

Fingers twirling my hair between their fingers,
As soft lips touch my cheek.
While sweet words of love is whispered in my ear.

I remember smelling her perfume as I drifted off to sleep,
her arms clinging tightly on to me as if never wanting to let go.

 

Her lips,
Kissing me in her sleep,
And murmurs escaping her lips,
Saying "I love you"
Somewhere in the dark.

Her hair brushing against my face,
tickeling my nose.

I really hate sleeping alone,
guess that's why I hate  sleeping.
 

Oh well, time to rest

Live Your Life Without Any Regreets

I discovered a few days ago,
My epic box of fail.

Yes, my Box of fail,
Where I store my engagment rings,
Patetic I know.
I kinda do keep them as a remind
Of how things went wrong at some point.

3 Rings...
3 Long serious relationships.
makes me think,
Can I ever do it right?

I actually talked with my first girlfriend,
bout it a bit recently.
She told me the reasons why things had gone so
And so.
And I do agree with her.

I'm quite the different person now than
I were then.
I've grown from the unsecure girl I once were.
I'm strong now cos of things I've experience in my life.
And  the people thats been in it.
They shaped me into who I am this day,
In the good ways and in the bad ways.
And I think I have the same thing with them.

Some learned to stand strong and be proud of who you are,
Not to let oneself be knocked down by anyone.
No matter who they are.

To love,
Isn't to be weak,
Yet if we can all feel weak at the point of love.

One just need to open up ones eyes and
Take a look at the world around,
and see what is important.

Some people lock away love,
Too afraid of opening up their hearts.
Afraid of being hurt.
To live, is to being hurt.
If one never can open up ones heart,
Life sure will be lonly.

As someone who meant allot to me once said,

"No one was meant to go through life alone"

Love is what makes this world go around.
Those words stick deep to my heart.

I have my regreets
When It comes to love.
Certain Periods I know I will look back on and think,
"what If?"

Who really wants to look back and think,
"what if" To any event in their lives?

I'm posting a song on the end here,
Which struck a cord in me concerning resent events.

Faith and Arms yea yea another Aion input

Steel Rake I really like that place

Going off to war

Not always easy being the tank

Prettiest little Tank
Wow....My legion hah!

HEY THERE!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'm flying!!!!!